All posts by admin

The Effects of Delayed Ejaculation

Delayed Ejaculation & Relationships

This case history represents a typical course of treatment for delayed ejaculation, but it has some unusual features.

It’s typical in that it actually describes many of the usual aspects of delayed ejaculation, that’s to say the emotional aspects and the relationship aspects that are deeply rooted in the developmental history of the partners.

At the beginning of therapy the man in the relationship, John, aged 37, came to see the therapist because of sexual problems.

He explained that he’d been living with his partner for three years, who was slightly younger than he was: Helen, who was 35 years old, a nurse who appeared to have a great deal of tolerance and understanding of his sexual difficulties. Both partners described sex in the relationship as “difficult” and “conflictual”.

Although initially sexual intercourse produced only a little difficulty in ejaculating, these difficulties had become worse as time had gone by.

John’s inability to develop an erection, sustain it, penetrate his partner, and continue thrusting to the point of ejaculation had caused Helen a great deal of stress and anxiety. Indeed, he now reported losing his erection during intercourse. This sometimes happens as a consequence of delayed ejaculation issues.

However this was not the extent of his difficulties, for he could not achieve orgasm in Helen’s presence under any circumstances.

Regardless of how she applied stimulation – manual, oral, or any other form – his sexual responses were slow, delayed, late or non-existent.

In short, John could only reach orgasm during masturbation on his own. He told me he could easily achieve an erection during masturbation and relatively easily achieve orgasm, although his pattern of masturbation was what is known as “idiosyncratic”.

Idiosyncratic masturbation and problems reaching orgasm


 

In other words, he didn’t use his hand on his penis, but he rubbed his penis against the mattress or his clothes whilst lying on his abdomen.

This is a way of masturbating to climax commonly seen among men with delayed ejaculation. Whether this masturbation technique is a cause or a consequence of retarded ejaculation and ejaculatory inhibition is still not quite clear.

Indeed, on the few occasions that he had attempted to masturbate with his hand he had been unable to bring himself to orgasm and ejaculate.

He said that he used this method of masturbation because of the extreme insensitivity of his penile glans.

A urologist reported that John had no phimosis (tight foreskin), and therefore there was no reason why his foreskin would not retract normally, he did have a case of frenulum breve, which has been associated with premature ejaculation.

Phimosis and frenulum breve – causes of delayed ejaculation?

To complicate matters further, John readily admitted that he had a tendency to use fetish oriented sexual fantasies which generally involved women wearing latex.

John also said he had a degree of vaginal aversion, a fact confirmed by his partner, who said that when she asked him to touch her genitals, he became markedly stressed.

However, it turned out that the issues which probably underlay John’s delayed ejaculation were not unique to him: Helen herself a number of sexual issues which were not at first apparent, and only became clear on detailed questioning.

She claimed that a normal ability to become sexually aroused, but this was at variance with her reported difficulty in achieving orgasm, letting go of control in the presence of a man, and her concerns about her inability to become pregnant in the relationship with John.

John had grown up in a household where his father was unassertive and his mother dominant; he had been, as he said, “the chosen one”, by which he appeared to mean that his mother had established a closer relationship with him than any of the other children (four siblings, all boys). The subjective feel of the therapist was that this was a major element of his delayed ejaculation.

Male Delayed ejaculation and Sexual Taboos

Sex was not openly discussed in his family, although even if it had been, John reported that he would under no circumstances have approached his father with questions about sex and sexuality. He said his father regarded sex as a “waste of time”, not “something to linger over”, and he always held back on sexual discussion…
During puberty John said he had been a slow or late developer, and reported being far too shy to approach girls, simply fantasizing about them wearing latex clothing, and achieving sexual release by thrusting against the mattress in bed at night.

He gave up hope of ever having a relationship, and, despite the delay in his ejaculation, regarded it as somewhat miraculous that he had established what appeared to be a satisfying relationship with Helen.

Helen’s family environment was chaotic as a child: her father was an alcoholic, her parents fought frequently, and she was deprived of both material and emotional comfort.

She reported that her drunken father often demanded sexual satisfaction from her mother in front of Helen, and that when the mother finally left her husband because of the abuse, she simply replaced her husband with a series of male partners, one of whom abused Helen at the age of 10.

Initially Helen could not recall this event, and the inhibition of her memory only relaxed as therapy progressed. Her mother regarded Helen as a source of emotional support, which she regarded as both a nuisance and an obligation. She had also been slow to develop her sexual responses, and felt there had been a delay in experiencing her first orgasm.

During puberty she developed sexual interests and had always had a boyfriend, although she had problems reaching orgasm during partnered sexual activity. She reported that masturbation had always led to orgasm, but she seldom masturbated because she feared “losing control”.

During her previous marriage she had been asked for sex on many occasions by her husband, and came to the point where his demands felt excessive. She therefore stopped having sex with him on a regular basis, but even so was deeply hurt when she discovered that he had been having relationships outside the marriage.

This was when her relationship with John had flourished: both of them felt trust and affection for each other, but the sexual feelings seem to be somewhat lacking. In addition to this, the major difficulty, as reported before, was that sexual intercourse was unsuccessful and Helen wished to become pregnant.

Stop Delayed Ejaculation

How To Stop Delayed Ejaculation

You do not have to be bound by the constraints of delayed ejaculation any longer. And if you are a woman who is in relationship with a man who has delayed ejaculation, you need not fear being unable to bring your man to orgasm any more either.

Over the years therapists have come up with two main categories of reasons for delayed ejaculation:

The first is the inhibition of sexual drive, and the second is a lack of sexual desire, which is also called a “desire deficit”.

Both of these approaches to explaining delayed ejaculation (DE) come from therapists who have worked in the area and achieved considerable fame with their theories.

First was a woman called Helen Singer Kaplan, who was the originator of the inhibition model. The second was a man called Bernard Apfelbaum, who came up with the desire deficit (or lack of sexual desire) approach.

You might think, and you’d probably be right, that these look like extremely different approaches to delayed ejaculationThat doesn’t mean that either of them is wrong, because it could well be that delayed ejaculation (DE for short) has more than one cause.

What Does it All Mean?

Using the “inhibition of sexual impulses” approach, Kaplan suggested that one way to encourage a man to reach orgasm and ejaculate during sex was to stimulate his penis with extreme force by hand.

The idea is to get his penis as near to his partner’s vagina as possible in the moments before he ejaculates. Then, at the last moment before he comes, he or his partner could push his penis into her so he ejaculates intravaginally.

Getting a man aroused with hand stimulation, then pushing his penis into his partner’s vagina at the last minute is not a sophisticated form of therapy – but does it work?

You might think this is not a very compassionate or sophisticated approach, and I tend to agree with you.

The extraordinary thing is, though, that sometimes it actually works. (It helps a man to ejaculate normally during intercourse.)

Now that could be because using force to overcome a man’s inhibitions about ejaculation is an adequate approach for some men.

It may get them over a fear barrier, perhaps. Or it may simply allow them to experience ejaculation inside their partner and find that this feels OK. After that, whatever was causing the blockage to their ability to ejaculate inside their partner is removed. But it doesn’t work for everyone, and it’s quite aggressive. Whether the limited success it engenders justifies its use or not is another issue.

I suppose men who can’t ejaculate in a partner, and who are desperate to do so, would be delighted to have any treatment which works. So if it actually results in them being able to ejaculate in the vagina, it’s fine, regardless of whether commentators like me call it “aggressive” or not!

But what about the men for whom this doesn’t work?

What you tend find here is that they require a combination of therapies. And certainly when that’s the case, you can bank on delayed ejaculation having a complicated origin. Here, the various threads that come together to cause it may need to be teased apart and dealt with separately.

You see, problems with ejaculation almost always involve some unconscious beliefs and thoughts about sex. That means a man won’t usually know why he can’t ejaculate. (“Unconscious” means you aren’t aware of them because they are held in the unconscious mind.) 

However, some men do have a sense of what’s going on with their difficulties reaching orgasm. For example, you may be aware of a sense of caution or anxiety or even fear around women. You may perhaps have a sense which you deny (or don’t face up to) that you don’t really like the partner you’re with. You may hold anger, fear or resentment towards women. 

And certainly some of the men with delayed ejaculation prefer sex with themselves to sex with women or indeed any partner. And you have to see that psychological position – which is called autosexuality – as rooted in some traumatic experience in childhood.

And that’s one key to this problem: looking back into what happened to you in your childhood, adolescence and early adulthood. But the thing is, many men with delayed ejaculation don’t really want to look into their childhood for traumatic events. That’s true even when this may explain the origins of delayed ejaculation. What they want is a cure.

And so we need strategies that can be used without delving deep into the unconscious. As I suggested above in the context of Kaplan’s work, this approach can be successful.

 One successful and popular approach is to sensitize a man’s body to the sexual stimulation he’s receiving so that he becomes more aroused more quickly.

You see, delayed ejaculation is almost always characterized by a man having a low level of sexual arousal during intercourse. This is true no matter how long foreplay or intercourse may continue.

And in fact it’s not that a man’s point of ejaculatory no return – the point of ejaculatory inevitability – is somehow set too high. It’s much more that he doesn’t reach that point, because he simply never gets aroused enough.

That implies that the roots of issues with reaching climax during sex lie in something that’s stopping the man becoming sexually aroused. Or, more exactly, sexually aroused enough to ejaculate.

And very often that something turns out to be a disconnection from his body, or disconnection from the process of sexual arousal.

Again, that’s almost always the result of some kind of traumatic experience in childhood. That could be abuse, whether it be emotional, sexual or physical. Or it could be bad experiences of some kind – even unrecognized trauma –  around sexuality in childhood.

But one of the interesting things about psychological healing is that it can take place just through the act of living, where we’re all presented with opportunities to grow and develop.

So many men can “retrain” their bodies to respond to greater sexual arousal without looking at the past. And this is done through a process called sensate focus. While I wouldn’t claim that it is successful in 100% of cases, it certainly works for a heck of a lot of men.

Video – Delays In Ejaculating

 And so do other techniques that are aimed at increasing arousal, like using porn, or finding orgasm triggers on the body such as nipple stimulation or anal stimulation. And indeed, incorporating into the couple’s sex life those things which the man (and the woman!) find particularly arousing.

But of course this isn’t really going to work where a man has some fundamental issue about the relationship that he’s in, or about sexuality, or about sex with a woman, or about femininity.

 In those cases it’s hard to see how the condition can be cured without addressing the underlying emotional and psychological issues. This is where men can heal wounds – i.e. emotional wounds – suffered at the hands of women (obviously, usually their mothers).

 

Self Hypnosis – A Path To A Better Life?

Hypnosis and self-hypnosis can reduce your stress levels!

Deep relaxation is an effective treatment for stress, but to deal with problems such as depression, anxiety, lack of confidence and feelings of inferiority you need something more: self-hypnosis. This provides an easy and effective way of changing beliefs about yourself in your subconscious mind, which controls the way you think and feel. First, though, let’s look at what hypnosis is and how it works. Simply telling yourself that you do not feel depressed will not make you feel better because your conscious mind considers and tests the suggestion. It realizes ‘this isn’t true’ and the suggestion is rejected. In hypnosis, however, this critical factor of the conscious mind is switched off so that suggestions can pass straight into the subconscious. Here’s how.

To start with, hypnosis is not really a substitute for conventional methods of “talking therapy” such as  counselling, psychotherapy, or shadow work. (You probably know what the first tow are, but may be less sure about the third. If so, check it out here.)

When a hypnotherapist treats a client, he or she may ask the client to breathe slowly and deeply, or to keep eyes fixed on one spot. This lessens the critical faculty and helps suggestions pass straight into the client’s subconscious. The hypnotherapist suggests that the client is relaxing more and more, finding it more and more difficult to keep eyes open, that she or he is feeling more and more relaxed. These suggestions, and others designed to solve a problem, can pass unfiltered into the subconscious mind which accepts them to a degree depending on how relaxed the client is. The client must be willing to co-operate, because if he is resistant or unwilling to be hypnotized, the process is more difficult and change occurs more slowly. Although there are other methods of hypnosis, they are all based on this principle. You might well ask what exactly is happening during the ‘switching-off’ of the critical factor. The surprising answer is that no-one really knows. But what we do know is that, first and foremost, a person must be willing to co-operate.

Second, hypnosis is not sleep. Although conscious awareness is reduced, at another level the mind still knows exactly what is going on and no-one can be made to do anything against their will.

Thirdly, suggestions made  during hypnosis are acted upon when a person has returned to normal consciousness – this is why it can help overcome emotional and personal problems. Fourthly, everyone can enter hypnosis, although a small number of people have difficulty at first, probably because they have a subconscious fear of not being in control of themselves. However, someone in hypnosis is not in any danger of ‘losing control’ and talking about his innermost secrets and desires. He will do this only if he wants to do so. Equally, whether or not you consciously forget what you have – said or heard during hypnosis depends entirely upon whether or not the therapist (or you) wants this to happen.

Having an idea of what hypnosis consists of, let us now turn to self-hypnosis. The principle is exactly the same as in hypnosis, except that you are your own therapist! But does self-hypnosis actually work, you may say?

Well, it does have its limitations. Some people who have a fear of losing control may need professional help to learn how to induce self-hypnosis, although we shall offer some possible solutions to this later on. And you’ve got to put a bit of effort in!

But on the whole, there is very good evidence that very nearly all emotional problems can be helped by self-hypnosis, and that even when repressed trauma are affecting adult life, self-hypnosis can still help you to change your behavior patterns.

All hypnosis is made up of four steps:

1. Induction of the hypnotic state

2. Therapeutic suggestions to influence the subconscious

3. Suggestions to come back to normal awareness or consciousness

4. Application of the hypnotic suggestions in everyday life

You may have realized already the biggest problem of self-hypnosis. As soon as you make any therapeutic suggestions to yourself, you must use your conscious mind. This alerts your “critical factor” which either brings you back to normal consciousness or rejects the suggestions. The easiest way to overcome this problem is to use a recording – it’s also a pretty effective method of inducing self-hypnosis. You can use any medium onto which you can record a script and then play it back to yourself – preferably through headphones, so you don’t get the background noise.

1: Recording a self-hypnosis script

You simply record the induction, hypnotic and ‘coming out’ suggestions, and then sit or lie down and play the recording to yourself. You’ll undoubtedly be able to go deep enough into hypnosis for any therapeutic suggestions you make on the recording to be highly effective.

The induction technique which suits most people is progressive relaxation. By the way, by far the most important factor in the effectiveness of self-hypnosis therapy is your determination to make it work. Here is the procedure.

You might like to listen to the recording lying full length on a bed, supported as we described for the deep relaxation procedure. Alternatively, you might sit in an easy chair with your back straight and well supported, in which case you have your head balanced upright and your arms resting on the arms of the chair with your fingers slightly apart. Your legs should also be slightly apart, feet flat on the floor in front of you. We’ve always found lying down to be more effective, though.

In either case, the room should be neither too hot nor too cold, too dim nor too bright, and certainly not noisy. You might want to take the phone off and not answer the door; and do pick a time when you’re unlikely to be disturbed. A pair of cushioned headphones which plug into your recorder will keep your recorded message private and shut out external noises.

1. Obtain a something on which you can record the script, and which will allow you to play it back while you relax on a bed or in a comfortable chair.

2. Leave a minute or two blank at the start of the recording so you can settle down, and then record your induction material as shown below. The entire induction procedure should initially take about 15 minutes but can gradually be shortened as you become more expert. (You may thus need to re-record from time to time.) At any stage, the important thing is that you are happy with what you have recorded. It’s good to speak slowly and clearly into the microphone in a tone of voice that suits you!

There’s a self-hypnosis induction script below. You can always add your own suggestions. You may find it helpful to repeat each of sections 4-7 several times, and to pause between each phrase in sections 10 and 11 so that you have time to feel each effect that is mentioned. This script is written as though a therapist was taking you through hypnosis.

Things in square brackets aren’t to be recorded, e.g., [pause].

Self-hypnosis INDUCTION SCRIPT – what you record:

Settle down comfortably and make sure that your head, neck, shoulders, arms and legs are all settled comfortably.

Close your eyes. Start breathing slowly and deeply, and each time that you breathe out, allow yourself to relax more and more.

You will now hear only my voice and feel only what I tell you to feel until after you wake up.

Concentrate on your breathing. Keep up that slow, steady, regular pattern of deep breathing.

And as you breathe out, allow yourself to relax more and more. Don’t concentrate on my words, simply allow yourself to relax. Relaxing peacefully, pleasantly, and comfortably, each time you breathe out.

Each time you breathe out, let yourself relax deeper and deeper. As I continue speaking to you, you will find that you are able to sink down deeper, deeper and deeper. Relax your mind, relax your body, relax your whole nervous system completely. Feel yourself relaxing more and more peacefully, pleasantly and comfortably.

As I continue speaking to you now, your eyelids will become very heavy and tired. And as they become heavier and heavier, and more and more tired, so your mind will become drowsier and more relaxed, letting yourself go utterly and completely, relaxing deeper and deeper, becoming loose and limp everywhere. As your eyelids continue to feel heavier and heavier, your mind continues to become drowsier and drowsier and more relaxed all the time.

[You can substitute the word ‘sleepier’ for ‘more relaxed’ if you prefer, so long as you understand that ‘sleep’ is only a convenient expression – you don’t actually want to go to sleep if you’re trying to use self-hypnosis. Mind you, if you have a sleep problem, maybe you do!]

As you feel your eyelids getting heavier and heavier, they are relaxing more and more, and you know that they are so relaxed they will not open.

Relax, relax, relax.

Concentrate on your right / left [use your dominant hand] hand. In a few seconds, one of the fingers is going to begin jerking a little all by itself or is going to tingle or pulse. Don’t be surprised when this happens, simply accept it and allow it to happen. Don’t try to make it happen, simply relax and let it happen. One of the fingers is now beginning to jerk or tingle. And as it does so, you are allowing your hand to become lighter and lighter, and as it becomes lighter and lighter you are allowing it to rise into the air. As it rises into the air, you accept what is happening and you find your body feels heavier and heavier. Your hand and arm are lighter and lighter, your legs and body heavier and heavier. All the time your hand and arm are rising higher and higher, as though your arm was tied to a balloon.

In a few seconds’ time, I am going to count from five to one, and when I reach one, your arm will suddenly flop and fall on to the bed or chair beside you. As it does so, all tension in your body will go away completely and you will be completely relaxed and calm. And now I am going to count: five – four – three – two – one – completely relaxed, all tension gone away completely.

Now your whole body is relaxing even more deeply than before. To help it relax, imagine that you can feel your muscles getting heavier and heavier, all the time now. Feel your head, neck and shoulders becoming more relaxed and heavy.

[pause]

Feel this happen. Feel your arms becoming heavy and relaxed. As the feelings of heaviness spread, you know you are relaxing deeper and deeper.

[pause]

Imagine the muscles of your chest and stomach relaxing. Feel these muscles becoming relaxed and heavy.

You can relax more and more all the time that you are listening to my words. They will act as a very powerful signal helping you to relax more and more all the time now.

[pause]  

You feel relaxation spreading down through your back and legs, making them relaxed and heavy and taking away all tension of every kind.  

Relax, Relax, Relax.

Now the feeling of relaxation is spreading to your mind and body and you find it so pleasant and calm that you allow yourself to sink deeper and deeper asleep. In a moment I am going to ask you to take five deep breaths which will relax you and send you even deeper. As you take each deep breath and breathe out, let the feeling of relaxation pass through your whole body and release all tension. When you take the fifth deep breath and exhale, you will relax even more, and all tension in mind or body will go away completely.

[While recording what follows, spread out the words so that the words ‘this tension is all’ can extend over the in-breath and, and the words ‘going away’ over exhalation.]

Now, breathe in deeply and then exhale. As you do so, this tension is all [pause] going away [pause]. Now, breathe in deeply and then exhale. As you do so, this tension is all [pause] going away [pause]. Now, breathe in deeply and then exhale. As you do so, this tension is all [pause] going away [pause]. Now, breathe in deeply and then exhale. As you do so, this tension is all [pause] going away [pause]. Now, breathe in deeply and then exhale. As you do so, this tension has all [pause] gone away completely.

Now my words will act as a powerful signal which will allow you to feel safe, relaxed, comfortable and happy. All the time I am speaking to you, my words will act as a powerful signal making you relax more and more.

You can allow your mind to wander on to any subject which it wants to, but if it does not wander that’s fine as well. Simply continue relaxing mentally and physically until you hear my words bringing you back to the room here and now. If you need to awaken quickly in an emergency, you will always do so.

[That is the induction process. Here is a general treatment for relaxation, stress relief, increased feelings of confidence and well-being. It is recorded in the pleasing tone of voice as the induction process.]

[STAGE 2 – TREATMENT]

You are relaxing deeper and deeper all the time that I am speaking to you. You relax deeply and feel better and refreshed as we continue.

As you relax more and more each time you use this technique, you will find yourself becoming more and more relaxed in everyday life. You feel more calm, more relaxed both physically and mentally. Your mind is clear. People do not upset you as much. As you feel more relaxed, more able to cope, you also find feelings of tension and irritation are going away completely all the time now, and very soon they will have gone away completely.

As the feelings of relaxation spread through your daily life more and more, you will feel more and more self-confident each day.

You will find that you remain much calmer and much less tense, no matter what you are doing. You will find your body and mind are relaxing more and more all the time. Things do not upset you as much.

These improvements develop more and more powerfully with each day that goes by. And if you should happen to feel yourself becoming tense in your body or mind, you can quickly relax by taking five deep breaths, which will always act as a very powerful signal to take away all tension of any kind. As the days go by, you become more relaxed and confident.

You feel less and less tense all the time now. Soon all tension will have gone away completely. You feel more confident and able to cope with life. You can relax and cope quite easily in any situation. Soon you will find yourself feeling calm, relaxed and confident, in all kinds of situations and with all kinds of people, knowing that five deep breaths always takes away all tension of any kind.

Your sleep improves every night now, and every night it becomes more and more refreshing and relaxing. You sleep better and better each time you go to bed. You worry less and less about problems. You worry less and less about not sleeping. You wake up feeling more and more refreshed each morning.

Relax now until I tell you to wake up.

[STAGE 3 – WAKING up (continue the recording as below)]

And each time that you use self-hypnosis, or relaxation, you will relax deeper and deeper. Each time you find yourself going deeper than ever before.

You can do this because relaxation is working well for you, making you feel more confident, relaxed and happy all the time now.

And in a moment, I am going to bring you back to full awareness. You will want to wake up and be able to wake up as I count from one to ten. Starting now.

One, Two. You are gradually coming back into a lighter sleep.

Three, Four. Your body is beginning to regain feeling.

Five, Six. You are waking up more and more all the time now, coming back into a lighter, lighter sleep.

Seven, Eight. You are coming back into a lighter sleep, feeling fine, refreshed and happy.

Nine, Ten. Getting ready to wake up now. Coming back into a lighter sleep, getting ready to open your eyes, feeling refreshed and fine in every way – NOW… NOW … NOW. Open your eyes now, feeling fine in every way, completely relaxed and refreshed.

Video – self hypnosis

HINTS ON INDUCTION

A few people do not like an authoritarian tone of voice and need a ‘permissive’ induction technique which ‘asks for’ the co-operation of the subject. An example of this would be ‘and now I want you to become more relaxed’ instead of ‘and now you are becoming more relaxed’.

There is only one way you can find out – and that is to try it for yourself. People who have trouble going into hypnosis, or those who find it difficult to relax without the security of a therapist, might like to give the conscious mind another task besides concentrating on deep breathing, so that the suggestions on the tape are more readily accepted. You can do this by counting down from five hundred to one while playing your recording.

Don’t make any effort, or try to listen to the tape, but just count down. If you lose your place, just start again at the first number that comes into your mind. As you count down, you start to relax: and it is a wonderful feeling to be deeply relaxed, a very healthy state of being.

However, if you still have difficulty, try autosuggestion.

HINTS ON THE FIVE DEEP BREATHS TECHNIQUE

You can use the five deep breaths during the day as a signal to relieve mental and physical tension. This is because your mind will associate five deep breaths and the words “This tension is all going away” with mental and physical relaxation.

To use the technique:

Stop what you are doing.

Consciously relax as much as possible in mind or body.

Breathe in slowly and deeply while thinking (or, if you prefer, saying):

“This tension is all…” and exhale, allowing yourself to relax as you do so, while thinking “..going away.” REPEAT this four times, and on the fifth change the words to: “This tension has all gone away completely.”

The effectiveness of this procedure depends very much on your concentrating on using it effectively, and not repeating the words quickly and superficially. The more you use the five deep breaths, the more benefit they will be to you. Remember, therefore, to use them as often as possible.

HINTS ON THE THERAPEUTIC SUGGESTIONS

You will find specific ideas for these suggestions in later chapters, but you can easily make up your own.

Make your suggestions gradual, and find a positive suggestion. For example, if you want to stop smoking, hypnosis may not work if you record: “You are now stopping smoking completely. You will never want another cigarette.” Instead, try: “I find my desire for cigarettes is less and less strong all the time now. All the time now, I find I need cigarettes less and less often, less and less strongly.”

The suggestion must be positive, rather than negative. A person lacking in self-confidence would not want to record “I don’t care about what other think of me.” Rather, he might record “I feel more and more confident whenever I am with people.” This last example also demonstrates another point. A few people find it difficult to relate to a tape which they have recorded in the second person, “you”. If you find that this is a problem, why not try regarding the voice on the tape as a therapist speaking to you, or as you being a therapist and addressing your own subconscious? Or try making the recording in the first person substituting “I” for “you”. 

More about stress

The beliefs you hold about yourself and the world can be a cause of stress

1 Believing that every conflict of personalities or events must produce a winner and a loser. You’re going to lose sometimes….. causing yourself a loss of self-esteem and a great deal of stress even in circumstances that really don’t matter. If you lay your self-esteem on the line in every situation you enter, it’s inevitable that you will become stressed.  Here is more information about your belief system.

2 Believing that other people are untrustworthy or expecting the worst from them in whatever you may be doing. Sure, you may have had bad experiences in the past. But don’t you think it’s better to start with an attitude of trust?

3 Putting prosperity, success or progress above family, friends and other people. These things are a means to an end – a fulfilled existence. The search for prosperity, success or progress as goals in themselves is very stressful. You need some overriding purpose that serves humanity. Then you’ll find the right path to riches and happiness. Here is more information on finding your true purpose.

4 Believing you should be happy all the time. Life inevitably produces some unhappy experiences – this is a normal part of the human condition.

5 Believing that life can provide everything you want with no real effort on your part. Such expectations lead to frustration, lack of motivation and effort and perhaps a failure to achieve anything at all.

6 Believing that someone else is responsible for solving your problems. They’re not. Here is more information on personal responsibility.

7 Believing that you’re right and others are wrong, or that you can judge others. Your own code of behavior has nothing more than subjective value – to you! If someone else does something which you find unacceptable, try and remember that they have acted in accordance with their own standards of behavior, which are as valid to them as your standards are to you. (That doesn’t mean you have to like it, though!)

8 Living life without goals and thinking you’ll be happy and fulfilled. Here is more information on goal setting.

9 Believing that your value as a person can be judged by your ability to measure up to a set of standards imposed by other people. This is a sure formula for stress. The same applies to the mistaken belief that you can evaluate your personal worth by evaluating what you do. There is a distinction between what you are and what you do. You can read more about this concept in terms of archetypal energies here.

10 Being dependent on another person for your emotional security. Emotionally close relationships are important for everyone, but it’s not good to make your own sense of well-being, of security, dependent upon these relationships. People and relationships change; stress happens. Whether you fear abandonment, being alone, not finding someone else….whatever, the truth is that you are in control, and if you know what you want, and you believe you can get it, it’s as good as in your hands.

Video – the importance of your belief system

So, yes, our whole existence is based on beliefs, some right, some wrong, and some downright dangerous. There are so many beliefs which can cause stress. Correcting faulty beliefs through the sort of critical analysis and self-examination like we’re suggesting here might not only reduce your level of stress, but it might just also improve your health and happiness.

We also think it is important for everyone to have a personal philosophy, a set of beliefs if you like, by which they can live. Such philosophies do not exclude material success; rather, they stress the importance of doing what is right for you in life.

Seven Golden Guidelines Towards A Lower Stress Lifestyle

1 Have a life-plan. The late Hans Selye, an expert on stress, maintained that we can only be fulfilled when we have an aim in life; that to avoid the frustration and stress of indecision and uncertainty, we must follow a path through life towards that aim; and that short-term goals for immediate gratification must be supplemented by long-term goals with measurable reward on the way to our ultimate objective.

2 Don’t suppress your basic emotional desires. This leads to stress and frustration. Be open with your loved ones. Be natural, be yourself.

3 Remember you are living your life and you have the final power of decision over what you do with it. Remember that your mind is designed to serve you, not to control you.

4 Judge yourself by your own standards. Be as emotionally independent of others as you can. If your self-esteem rests on your ability to measure up to external standards, you’re likely to be under a great deal of stress. For example, a person whose feeling of self-worth depends upon the favorable opinions of other people will be constantly on the look out for clues as to their attitude to him and fearful of the rejection which seems to indicate he is lacking as a person. If you’re a perfectionist and believe that everything must be done perfectly, you’ll rarely be able to achieve the standards necessary for self-approval.

But none of us has to spend our lives trying to measure up or prove ourselves. What we need is a satisfactory level of self-esteem and confidence to provide a feeling of self-worth. Increasing one’s self-confidence and overcoming dependency are very helpful in reducing stress. Perhaps one reason why people are dependent on others is that they see in them something which they themselves lack, and hope to become more complete through the relationship. But such strategies rarely work for long, since no relationship can substitute for one’s own feelings of self-worth.

King archetype – self esteem

5 Put the past in its place. You do have the power to choose how you feel, even if you don’t exercise it as often as you might. 

6 Know Thyself: do some work on understanding yourself. A good way to start is with this kind of therapy.

7 Be flexible in life. Know which battles to fight and which to avoid.

In addition, we have some positive suggestions on how you can alleviate stress with deep relaxation on another page of this website.

Understanding and Dealing With Stress

How you can reduce your stress levels 

You could argue that stress is a personal problem rather than a medical one. Most doctors simply don’t have enough time to talk through emotional or psychological problems, particularly if it’s all a bit complicated.

They may hand out prescriptions for tranquillizers, which are are effective and fast acting, but don’t remove the source of the stress. Rather like drinking alcohol to relax, taking a tranquillizer may lead to addiction or dependency as your body adapts to their action and becomes less responsive.

At best, tranquillizers are a means of reducing the physical or mental pain that severe stress can produce during a life crisis. Beyond that, you can reduce the effects of stress on yourself by changing your beliefs about your environment, your relationship to it and yourself, so that you no longer perceive situations as threatening, or by lessening the effects of stress through deep relaxation.

Changing Your Stress Producing Beliefs

Ultimately, a lot of harmful stress is caused by a perception of threat based on your unchallenged beliefs. For example: a man stressed in his job believes he has no option but to continue in that employment.

A housewife living a life of drudgery believes she has no choice but to go on doing so. A university student believes that exam failure would be a personal disaster.

A man unable to socialize freely believes that other people are likely to reject him. A less able schoolboy believes that he is the most stupid child ever born. A teenage girl believes she is unattractive. A man frightened to ask a woman for a date believes she may not like him and that rejection would be a catastrophe. And so on.

Beliefs like this lead to perception of threat and so cause emotional arousal. But the thing is that these beliefs are often faulty or mistaken because they are based on wrong information or negative past experiences. Unfortunately, we usually accept them as fact or reality without any questioning!

Shadow work

Changing these beliefs, or at least re-examining them, can alter our perceptions and so reduce stress. It’s a process we can extend over every aspect of our lives. In this section, we’ll examine beliefs about relationships, work, and life in general with specific attention on how they may be challenged and, when appropriate, changed for the better.

Beliefs about yourself come later, when we look at social anxiety, because the beliefs you hold about yourself are closely linked to things like self-image and self-confidence. These are aspects of the Sovereign archetype – if you know about archetypal theory. (If you don’t know about the Sovereign, you can find out more here.)

A lot of people are severely stressed and unhappy. Yet, if you ask them why they don’t do something about the situation, they say something like: ‘Oh, I couldn’t possibly change my job/move home/leave my wife.’

This type of response may be a fear of the unknown which keeps many people stuck where they are. It often seems better to avoid the immediate pain of change, even though the long term pleasure from a changed lifestyle would be much greater.

On the other hand, such remarks can also be genuine but mistaken beliefs about oneself and the position you’re in. ‘I can’t possibly change my job.’

Well, maybe, but why not?

If you sit down and examine the accuracy of each assumption which contributes to that overall belief, you may find there are aspects to the situation you never even thought about. However, you may not. Many such beliefs are held in shadow. (A definition of the human shadow can be found here.)

Shadow work is a way of accessing these deeply held (and mostly incorrect beliefs and changing them. It is, in my opinion, one of the most powerful systems for personal growth and development. To start your own exploration, read about the shadow here.

The therapy which emerges form the principle of the shadow is called shadow work. (Read about that here.) Shadow work is a process is designed to assist a person to question the beliefs they hold, so that eventually they gain enough insight to allow them to establish new, autonomous views about life. 

As an example, consider a man who is stressed by his job. He’s overworked and underpaid, never gets a word of thanks from his employers and has poor relationships with his colleagues because they abuse his willingness to take on extra work. When he wakes up each morning, his first thought is: ‘I wish I didn’t have to go today!’

He works hard all day, meeting deadlines, working on several projects at once, perhaps even working over his lunch hour and taking work home. All his working life is pressured and stressed, which makes him unhappy and unfulfilled. He wants to leave the job but never does so – simply because he does not question whether he can leave the job. 

Shadow work would rely on a process of representing, or “getting out” the various parts of the man – that is, the different elements of his thinking. This kind of therapy is also called IFS or Parts Work.

For example, the man may have different internal parts which have beliefs such as: 

I have no skills for anything else

This is a time of high unemployment, there are no other jobs

I wouldn’t be able to retrain

I shall be short of money, and what about my family?

Each of these parts can be represented and invited to speak about their beliefs. A person can generally step readily into such parts, and speak freely from them. A skilled therapist will be able to find a way of working with those parts to change their beliefs, and in turn, that will massively impact the man’s behaviour and way of being in the world. To find out more about parts work, see Marianne Hill’s website.

That’s a simple example, but it illustrates the point.

Rational Emotive Therapy

Sometimes it’s the conflict between your beliefs and what you do that causes you stress. Peter is a friend of ours who worked for many years with a company which sold pharmaceuticals and artificial baby foods to the Third World.

Although the job was very well paid, he found it highly stressful, and he eventually developed an ulcer. This caused him to stop and question what he was doing for the first time in many years. He realized that he’d been ignoring the fact that he had serious doubts about the ethics and morality of the profit oriented business he was involved with.

He told us how this insight had sparked off a session of self-analysis. ‘First of all,’ he recalled, ‘I had to find out whether my doubts were objectively valid. I researched the opinions and statements of doctors, both in the West and in our sale areas. I spent some time looking at the comments of government ministers in the Asian and African countries to which we sold these high tech products.

I soon understood that poor people were spending a large proportion of their income on drugs and baby foods which were unnecessary and highly priced. Uncontrolled by doctors, they were probably suffering rather than benefiting. There was no doubt in my mind that I wasn’t just prejudiced. This was no irrational attitude; I couldn’t go on ignoring my conscience any longer.” This is the power of rational emotive therapy.

Make Him Love You!

We could all tie ourselves in knots working out how to make a man fall in love with us, but perhaps there’s a simpler approach than manipulation, playing games, and strategies.

Ever since the publication of the book The Rules, which purported to tell women how to behave so that they could ensnare men, there’s been a bit of a belief that to trap and have a man love you, you have to manipulate him somehow.

Happy couple in love
How to make a man love you! Find out here.

But I want to propose a different strategy: being honest, open, and what we’d call “clean” in our relationships and dealings with men – and, for that matter, with everybody else to.

You see, this is a matter of integrity. When you behave in a way that is decent, honourable and truthful, you and he both know where everybody stands. Honest communication becomes much easier, heart-to-heart communication becomes truly meaningful, and trust develops more quickly. (You can see a good model for authentic communication right here.)

Having said that, there are certain things that men are looking for in women. For example we know that men are going to fall in love with women who have certain characteristics much more quickly.

So for the benefit of you women out there who still want to know if there are any things that you can do to make a man fall in love with you, here are some answers.

1 Don’t Play Hard to Get

Or, “Simply Have a Busy Life That Is Full of Your Own Interests”!

You see, the idea that women should play hard to get, and thereby entice a man into “the chase” is all very well.

But the downside is that a lot of men these days are internally disempowered. For all kinds of reasons that we don’t need to go into here, truly solid masculinity is becoming a bit of a rare quality in men. 

Which is not to say you can’t nab a masculine man, because you obviously can – there are plenty of them around. What I’m saying is is that there are plenty of men around who aren’t going to be confident enough to engage fully in the chase!

So if you want to lead a man on, in other words you want to get him riding after you like a knight on a charger, you need to be careful. What you might find is that he doesn’t have the self-confidence and masculine strength necessary to play that game.

An alternative is simply to maintain your own life.

Do the things you’re interested in doing. Spend time with your friends. See your family. Enjoy your hobbies. And in amongst those activities create time for your man.

What’s going to happen here is that when he sees you have a full and enjoyable life without him, he’s going to work harder to get hold of you.

That’s because he’ll be intrigued and want to know more about you.

He‘ll want to know exactly what turns you on and what makes you excited, and what he can do to enjoy feelings of closeness and emotionally connected times with you.

You see true, the truth is that you really don’t need to do anything to nab a man.

All you need to do is express your interest and then wait for him to step into his masculinity and make the moves on you. This is very different from playing games, making yourself “unavailable”, or any of the other silly strategies that have been recommended over the years.

I can tell you that these strategies are all about amusing women and giving them a sense of power, rather than encouraging them to have a truly wonderful, heart-centred and honest relationship with a man. Read more about men and love here.

2 Share Exciting Times

You might have seen reports that when people – in this case men and women – do things that are exciting or risky or dangerous together, they develop much stronger feelings of attachment, and they do that more quickly.

And it seems to be true: there is evidence that adrenaline makes us fall in love faster.

The evidence for this is a little bit sketchy, but it does seem to suggest that if you’re doing something risky or daring then you have more chance of loving and being loved, and experiencing this more quickly than you otherwise might.

It’s something to do with the effect of adrenaline on the brain: sharing a risky activity with another person seems to bring about an attachment to them.

couple with man handing woman a rose
Take a risk! Love may come faster…

But we all know that being in the company of somebody who is making us feel loved, or whom we love, or with whom we are falling in love, is very exciting.

It produces a rollercoaster of emotional hormones and brain chemicals including oxytocin, which is the bonding hormone.

Now it’s clear that whether or not you want to go skydiving or mountaineering with a partner, you can have a much better chance of establishing a relationship if you’re sharing something that you both enjoy doing.

So you might want to look for something that makes your man – your lover to be – excited and happy.

For example, imagine going zip lining compared to having dinner with somebody.

Which do you think would be the experience that leads you to a greater chance of connection and love? Sure, dinner is nice, and it might lead to romance, but the thrill of zip lining through the woods – if that’s what rocks your boat – will leave you with a shared experience that is very memorable.

And it makes sense that you fall in love faster when you’re in an excited or aroused emotional state. Again, what will be more exciting? Skiing down the Alps with dinner afterwards, or just having dinner?

OK, I think I made the point. And you don’t have to do dangerous sports or activities that you normally wouldn’t touch – it’s a matter of finding shared activities which excite and thrill you.

Basically, the bottom line is that when you have great experiences with a man, you consciously and unconsciously associate him with the experience – and of course he’s going to associate his heightened emotional state with you.

And it’s true, when you have these at shared experiences they are a great foundation for a loving relationship.

In other words, if you want to have a man fall in love with you, find something that goes beyond the normal for your dates.

3 Share Intimacy

Obviously your first thoughts when I mention “intimacy” may well be about sex, but I’m not talking about sex.

I’m talking about sharing intimate situations – and that could be as simple as communicating directly and honestly from the heart, or it could be taking something like a Tantra course together, or it could be something which brings you into connection with each other in a way that you wouldn’t normally experience. You, as a woman, have a powerful Lover archetype energy inside you (also known as the Feeling Body). This is apart of you which is designed to naturally connect with other people, in friendship, love or sexual intimacy. It can certainly attract the more masculine energy of a man’s sovereign or King archetype.

Finding heart-centred places where you can open your heart safely to your lover to be, the man whom you want to fall in love with you, is something that needs to be done with care and attention to your own safety.

Exposing your vulnerability can be risky, because not everybody will respect that in the way you would like them to. But with care and attention, you can find places like well-held workshops and experiences where you and your man will be able to spend intimate time together.

That way, you’ll find yourself getting to know your man more quickly and more deeply than you would have ever thought possible.

4 Use Your Feminine Charm

I’m not suggesting you start trying to manipulate a man into loving you. That would be crazy, because ultimately you can’t make anybody, least of all a man, love you.

What you can do is show them the honest and open side of yourself that they will fall in love with. And as you do that, you can communicate the excitement and joys that lie ahead for you both.

And I’m talking here specifically about sex. But I want you to understand that this doesn’t need to be done in a crass way, which makes you look like you’re obsessed with sex!

(Don’t forget, men still like to believe in the old cliche of a whore in the bedroom and a Madonna in the home. In other words, they want a woman who is really ready to enter joyfully and happily into sex with her whole spirit and being, while also maintaining integrity, authenticity and honesty in the relationship.)

So when you think of your lover to be, you can think what it might be like to be physically intimate with him, and you can convey your delight, anticipation and joy about that through your voice, your eyes, and your touch.

But do it subtly, without being overtly sexual.

Men notice these things, and twirling your hair around your finger or touching your leg while thinking that sexy thoughts…. well, that will tell him all he needs to know about the sexual delights you have in store for him.

 My only advice to you here is that if you really don’t want to get sexual with the man, or you’re not certain about it, don’t send those messages just yet….. wait a little bit longer until you’re certain.

5 Help Him To Feel Like He’s Your Hero

If you don’t truly respect a man, then what are you doing with him in the first place?

But if you do respect him, then you can show him how wonderful he is, either by telling him directly or by saying it to others in front of him.

What you may not understand, perhaps, about men, is that they are very vulnerable creatures. What they want is a woman’s appreciation, love and, above everything else, her respect.

For a man, your respect is just about the most important thing you can give him. It’s like him cherishing you above all else.

So these are some of the ways in which you can help a man understand your intention to love him. And since you are a woman, and you really do know how to make a man love you, it should be easy to get the relationship you want!

Once again, make no mistake about it, that if you’re looking to capture a man’s heart and make him love you forever, then one of the best ways to do it is with authenticity and integrity.

*To learn more about the ideas of archetypes, shadow and the unconscious, check out this helpful website which describes the male archetypes of King Warrior Magician and Lover in detail.

Capture His Heart & Make Him Love You Forever Reviewed – Part 1

So you’re wondering whether to buy Capture His Heart And Make Him Love You Forever.

Good. I’m a man, and I’m going to tell you all about it so you can decide how useful it might be in your search for a loving relationship.

I’m going to tell you what’s in it, and what I think about what’s in it (from a man’s point of view), so you can decide whether to buy it or not.

Come with me on this fascinating journey….

Here, I’m simply reviewing the dating and relationship advice for women contained in the main sections  of the Capture His Heart program – not the optional add-on bonuses. You can find lots of information about the bonuses on the links at the top and side of this page.

Off we go!

When you buy the program, you receive some welcome emails, telling you how to access the program.  You then sign into your own private “admin area”.

Here, you can connect with other women in the program, get a hot line to the support desk, and check out the content of Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever.

This is a screenshot of my admin area: you can see my name, Rod M Phillips, at the top left hand side. I feel like an interloper. This feels like women’s business! Still, I like an adventure….

screencapture

Now, this all looks very professionally set up (always a good sign). As you can see, you get four parts, which looks like great value for money … but just what are they?

The 4 sections of the main material (excluding bonuses) in Capture His Heart And Make Him Love You Forever are:

Part 1 Unlocking His Head And Looking Inside
Part 2 Unleashing Your Inner Siren
Part 3 Holy Sh*t, It’s Working, Now What?
Part 4 Keep Him Panting At Your Feet, Forever!

Here we go…. stand by for an exciting ride! Read on below to find out more about this crucial relationship information for women.


Capture His Heart Reviewed

Part 1 Unlocking His Head And Looking Inside

And when you click on this, you see this is divided into several sections:

a) Introduction to the whole program “Capture His Heart & Make Him Love You Forever” – which is a review of the contents & a review of how it all works.
b) The Quiz – a way to find out everything about yourself that might be holding you back from a relationship.
c) Why Men Love to Chase Women – facts about men you may never have imagined.  Hint: Vital information.
d) The Secret Invisible Obstacle Course – information about why men may not be showing much interest in you. Hint: Vital information.
e) Burn Your “Perfect Man” Checklist, then Stomp on the Ashes – what’s wrong with the Law of Attraction philosophy & why it doesn’t always work.  Hint: Vital information.

Ok, so let’s go! The first part, section (a) is – as you can see – an introduction to Capture His Heart And Make Him Love You Forever. 

dreamstime_xs_8815883-paid-for

So we all love quizzes, and I’m guessing you’re going to really like this one!

Completed in private, analyzed in private, this quiz serves two purposes. First, it it gives you a benchmark with which you can compare every aspect of your personality NOW and AT THE END of the program (my dear, how much you’ve changed!)

Second, it helps you understand so much about how you present yourself to the world right now.

Once you’ve done it, which takes about 10 minutes, you can ask for your results to be emailed to you, and then you can dive straight into the rest of the program.

So what comes next? Why, believe it or not, it’s information about why men love to chase women!

Now as a man, and as a relationship counselor, I have an inside track on this!

So I looked at what the author of Capture His Heart And Make Him Love You Forever, Claire Casey, says with both personal and professional interest. How accurate was she going to be?

Well I can tell you something — and I’m not particularly happy about admitting it — I was pretty shocked by what she said.

The essence of it is that men are motivated by adventure and excitement and challenge. That’s the simple version, but it’ll do. 

So what? Read on. It will all become clear.

In a way doesn’t really matter what that challenge is, although Casey spells it out in a dramatic sort of way in Capture His Heart: “Most men are living in Manhattan or Anyville and they spend their days working for a living, searching for the remote, and thinking about all the women they aren’t having sex with. And yet they are hard-wired for that caveman, arctic explorer, alligator-wrestling, superhero kind of life.”

Get this: she’s bang on. I’ve helped to run men’s weekends for over six years now, and they’re pretty challenging.

Everytime I see a group of nerdy guys wearing sandals and shorts getting off the bus, I readjust my thinking, and remind myself that by the end of the weekend these guys will be muddy, dirty, pumped up, and they’ll be feeling like they’re living right in their own masculinity. Like they’ve done something. Something that matters to them. They’ll be happy, fulfilled and satisfied. They’ll feel great!

And guess what? What do men want as a reward for facing adventure, excitement, challenge? They want the respect, admiration, and acceptance of a woman. Along with the joys and challenges that brings.

See, it’s on YouTube, too.

So: Claire Casey is bang on with point 1: Men love to chase, period.

And they long to explore. They want to overcome. They’re driven to accomplish. And in the end, they do it for the succulent, delectable rewards of a woman.

I was a bit shocked at this stage, I have to admit. I didn’t think Capture His Heart And Make Him Love You Forever was going to be this accurate. I had a slight inner sense of some important male secret being let out of the bag…..

And the point is this: you, as a woman, need to keep the chase going.

Yep, just like women have been doing for millenia….. and Capture His Heart And Make Him Love You Forever is full of dating tips and relationship advice that will help you do just that.

Sure, that might not be the same chase as the one he went on when you captured his interest for the first time.

But keeping a chase going, perhaps in a more intimate and romantic way, is what keeps a man excited and interested and fires a constant erotic tension, smouldering at the foundations of your relationship.

I’ll tell you this: as a man, I know Claire’s 100% right about this.

Now let’s see what she goes on to say….

More About Capture His Heart 

The next section is The Secret Invisible Obstacle Course. In other words – Semi-secret obstacles that are keeping the man of your dreams from finding you and making a mad rush to win your attention.

What Capturing His Heart Seizes As Prisoner!

So what Claire Casey’s saying here is that there are some reasons why men find it difficult to get together with women. For example, they might be — gosh, don’t speak it aloud – secretly terrified.

You know why men are scared about approaching women? An interesting question isn’t it?

Regrettably I have to admit she’s right again: men are often scared of getting in too deep with a woman because they don’t know how to deal with feelings — yours, and theirs.

Men are much more about doing things than feeling things. (Unless, that is, they’ve been on one of my men’s weekends!) However, as a principle, Claire’s correct.

She lists a total of seven secret obstacles that stop men approaching women — and that includes you. Happily, she also tells you what to do about them.

But I’m not going to tell you what they are, because this is only a basic outline of the contents of Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You For Ever – and from a male point of view.

You’ll have to get it and read this dating advice for yourself.

What I will say is that of Casey’s seven secret obstacles that might stop you meeting men (like men are too scared to approach you), there’s only one of them that I basically don’t agree with.

That’s secret obstacle number 3: “He’s soft on the inside but can’t let anyone know.” In other words, he’ll never reveal his inner self.

I’ve run loads of men’s groups, and I know men will absolutely confide in each other about their deepest hopes beliefs and feelings.

What I think Claire has got wrong here is that things have to be set up in a certain way for a man to do this: a woman does this sharing naturally, but a man needs certain things before he’s ready to open up about himself and spill his innermost secrets.

Buy this program and see if you think I’m right. But just in case Claire’s looking for an answer on this, I’ll say this: a man will open up when he’s with people he trusts not to judge him, not to criticize him, not to try and fix or change him, and who will accept him just as he is. (Ladies – note the bit about changing him.)

What men want in this kind of situation more than anything else is the validation of being heard.

There, I might have given you a useful tip: men don’t want to be fixed any more than you do! 

Finally, in this part of the Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever, Claire tells you to burn your “perfect man” check list then stomp on the ashes.

Well, this is all about the Law of Attraction. As she says, some of these programs can be awesome, but she’s also dead right that if you’re visualizing the perfect man, and being really specific about what you want, you probably won’t get anything. Simply because perfection doesn’t exist.

What you’re overlooking, when you try and find the perfect man is how much you reduce the odds of finding a man who loves you.

There are millions of men out there who could totally melt your heart and charge your battery at the same time, without being anything like perfect.

Even more amazing, these men are just like you.They’re all curiously, wonderfully, astonishingly different, and changing and growing every day.

Oh dear: now I’m beginning to get a bit worried. This begins to feel like Claire really does have the inside track on men. I’m not finding a lot so far that I disagree with. In fact, the truth of the matter is this: if you don’t understand men, this is all you need to become a graduate student in no time flat. 

This section of Seize His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever ends with some practical advice about drawing a line in the sand, stepping over it, and laying the past to rest. And also, as you step over the line, you can adopt a more personally powerful position. 

That’s to say, a life in which you control what happens to you, not in which you’re controlled by other people and their actions. Sounds good, don’t you think?

Summary, so far so good. Truth is, as a man, I think Claire’s doing well so far. I’d say she’s 90+% accurate about men.

Read on to find out what Capture His Heart can reveal about men next. This is beginning to shape up as superb dating advice for women.

Part 2: Unleashing Your Inner Siren

Part 2 Reviewed

Part 2 is called “Unleashing Your Inner Siren”.

That sounds like pretty powerful stuff! So let’s check it out and see if it matches up to the claims.

When you sign into your personalized Capture His Heart dashboard, you’ll find Part 2 is broken up into several sections.

It starts with information about Unleashing Your Inner Siren, which is subtitled “How To Awaken Unsettling Primal Urges In A Man”.

It then moves on to “Wake Up Gorgeous — Eight Hours To Unbelievably Sexy”. This is, as you might have guessed, an eight hour program to make you feel like the beautiful woman you truly are. (Hint: you do it while you sleep…..!)

Last but not least, Part 2 concludes with a section compellingly named “Seven Massive Mistakes To Avoid At All Costs”.

So let’s get going.

Seizing his heart and compelling him to love you forever is going to involve some powerful connections: love, sex, intimacy.

And it’s true, in their most powerful form, these are primal urges.

But what’s Claire Casey saying, when she talks about awakening these primal urges in a man? Does she mean sexual urges? NO! She means the male instinct to woo, seduce, chase and transfix a woman with masculine male energy.

And to do that, she’s talking about you increasing YOUR animal magnetism. Because for men to be interested in you, you have to be interesting.

As she says: “In fact, the more powerful your magnetism (and boy, you are just not going to believe how EASY it is to be magnetic!), the more strong, potent, and sturdy men you will be drawing to you. Little magnet, little men. Strong magnet, strong and exciting men. You’re gonna be incredible, just wait and see. (And it won’t take long…!)”  

That’s what Claire Casey, author of Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever, says.

And like I always say, if you’ve missed the chance to capture men’s hearts in the past, you can always change things, and capture their hearts in the future.

So when you direct all your energy and determination towards making yourself compellingly attractive to men, what do you think will happen?

Absolutely, you’ll attract a lot of men.

And here’s one of the secrets that you need to know before you set out to do: a man really wants a woman who makes him feel good.

Compared to a woman who looks stunning but who isn’t emotionally connected, supportive, or even interested in him, the woman who makes him feel good wins every time. Regardless of what she looks like…

You getting the message? What this kind of connection takes is engagement; in other words, being interested in somebody. So you put your attention on a man. In fact you put it on lots of men. Because the more you put yourself out there and radiate your light and intention to meet good men, the more likely it is to happen. In fact, it becomes a certainty.

dreamstime_xs_8815883-paid-for

Here’s The Secret Of  Getting A Man’s Heart
And Making Him Fall In Love With You 

(Well, one of them, anyway.)

So capturing a man’s heart is about connecting, or engaging with him.

It’s about giving him the confidence to start a conversation with you.

It’s about making him feel you respect him. It’s about making him feel safe to ask the question that all men hesitate to ask because of their fear of rejection: “Would you like to…” (And you can fill in the blank for yourself …see me again, have a drink, come to a movie, enjoy dinner… whatever!)

One of the really important things about this technique, which Claire Casey calls “Amping up your engagement”, is that you shift your attention from negative to positive.

You change the energy from negative self talk to positive projection outwards.

You look engaged and interested in the people around you.

You project a positive personality….

When you do this you open doors of possibility in your future.

Claire Casey provides a blueprint you can use to snag the interest of men around you . It’s like a strategy for getting into conversation without worrying about what you’re going to say. 

It’s a great way to make yourself the most compelling woman in the room, the woman who draws the most interesting and potent men towards her.

So how do I rate this part of Capture His Heart and Make him Love You Forever?

As a man, I have to say she’s completely correct about what men like. (Again.)

Forget for a minute that this might be the same thing women like. Here, we’re talking about how you, as a woman, are going to get men interested in you.

And the answer is – by being interested in the men around you.  Because, as Casey says, guys are potentially interested in nearly every woman who walks past them, just because she’s a women. (You know that, right?)

But the difference between the women they speak to, the women they’re really interested in, and the women they ignore, is very simple.

Men are interested in women who are interested in them. And Claire Casey’s going to show you how to be one of those women.

sirenIn the post below I’ll reveal some of Claire’s tactics for making yourself into a siren – if you recall the Greek Myths, you’ll know a siren was a mythical creature which sang a song so sweet it could lure any man from his path. But for me, the real meaning of the siren story is about women being irresistible to men.

Now, let’s look at how you might achieve this for yourself!

Part 3: Holy Moly, It’s Working! What Do I Do Now?

And so on to Part 3, Holy Sh*t, It’s Working … Now What? (Yes, I’m sorry to say I censored that word in the title of this post).

So what is it all about, you ask? This is practical advice on how you can choose the Right Man from all the ones who are paying you so much attention.

Just imagine being in that situation! Instead of taking what’s on offer, at last you can pick and choose who you go out with, who you’re seen with, who you actually get intimate with.

And of course you need to have some ground rules, and you certainly need to know WHAT you want in a man, before you make a choice about which man’s heart you want to capture, and perhaps make him love you for all eternity.

So this is practical advice about how you can choose between all the men that are suddenly appearing in your life.

Some of the advice is just really downright reassuring: remember, for example, that dating a man doesn’t mean you’re planning to marry him. In other words, you can have fun while you explore what’s on offer.

And suppose you believe that there’s only one soulmate out there for you, and you have to go on picking and choosing until you find him? Well, this faulty belief is dispatched in no time flat: Claire Casey reveals exactly why the myth that there is only one man who’s right for you is exactly that — A MYTH.

Capture His Heart and Keep Him Forever is a pretty powerful title for a program on dating advice for women: but the thing is, dating is more than that. It’s like an experimental phase where you can find out whether the men you’re meeting are the ones you want to be around. More specifically, you can find out whether the men you’re meeting are the ones you want to know more about, and get to know more deeply, in a special way.

A little bit patronisingly, I think, Claire Casey calls this section

“Sorting the Keepers from the Throw-Them-Backs”!

Of course one of the things going on here is learning how to break all the patterns that have attracted you to Mr Wrong so many times (go on, admit it, we’ve all been there, we’ve all make mistakes).

Now just think how much easier your life would have been in the past if you’d had a guide like Capture His Heart and Cause Him To Love You For A While (oops… just joking)! You’d probably have avoided a lot of wasted time and emotional upset.

So here’s the chance to start over and do things right.
There’s how Claire introduces this section:

The (Monstrous) Difference Between NEEDING a Relationship and Wanting One ….

Do you know any “GirlfriendZilla” women? They date a thousand guys and have a thousand failed relationships to show for it. No man can ever do enough to satisfy a GirlfriendZilla’s desperate craving for… Well, for a relationship with a man and all the happiness a man can “give” her.

Except that you can’t really MAKE someone happy. You have to find happiness and satisfaction within yourself first.

Now, I ask you – is Claire right? You know the answer… if you are feeling in any way desperate for a man, you’re already in trouble. The best possible mental and emotional position to be in is the one where you WANT but don’t NEED a man in your life.

May-all-your-dreams-come-true.

But knowing the theory and putting your knowing into practice are two different things. So if you think you’re in any danger of grabbing the wrong man just because he’s ready, willing and available, please read this section of Seize His Heart and Make Him Love You For Eternity!

There’s plenty more extremely valuable suggestions in this section. And they’re about making you the kind of gal that a man would die for….

For example, if you haven’t practised gratitude, take it from me: gratitude really can transform your entire outlook on life. Full information about how to do that in 5 minutes a day comes courtesy of Claire Casey.

And have you ever blamed yourself for those less-than-perfect relationship experiences? (I mean the bad ones!) Well if you have, there’s a technique in this section to stop blaming yourself and start moving forward with a positive attitude.

And have you ever wanted to de-clutter your life? Simplify, reduce, de-clutter? Yes? Find out how to do it here!

Do you have goals, but let go of them all too easily? Good! Get the tips you need to stick to the your objectives here!

And last but not least, what can you do to stop “needing” a man? Discover the secrets of independence here!

So, Catch His Heart and Keep Him Forever is a practical handbook to having a good quality relationship with a good quality man, without losing the habit of being an independent, happy woman with her own mind about what she wants, and the vision to get it.

checklist-thumbThis section ends with the exciting — and maybe essential — section “Considering Commitment: Top 10 Signs That He’s Marriage Material”.

Oh boy, we’re down to the nitty-gritty now! Just imagine knowing the top 10 indicators that will help you determine whether this guy, the one you think might be your life partner, really is a man with whom you can share the rest of your life.

Yeah that’s right, the top 10 indicators that this is the guy you might want to marry.

Need I say more? Capture Your Heart and Keep Him Forever lists all the things you should know about a man before you settle down with him for ever!

And if that seems too frightening, then the next section might rescue you! Read on….

Should You Simply Date….
Or Are You Ready For Commitment?

Don’t worry — you signed up for a program which is designed to help you find you the man of your dreams. And now you’re approaching that moment where you have to decide to choose the benefits of dating, with or without commitment, an exclusive monogamous relationship, or some other way of living.

This section of Mike Fiore and Claire Casey’s program reveals the secret to discovering important things you can learn about yourself while you date – the things that will help you decide if you do want to settle down right now, the things that will help you decide if this is the man for you for the rest of your life.

And perhaps you don’t even know what commitment looks like?

heartHappily Claire Casey can explain commitment to you: the possible risks, the possible benefits.  And more. The need to be honest with yourself, to assess your priorities, and look after yourself. How to establish trust. How to assess a man’s integrity.

And more than anything else, the power of communication — and how you can discover if this is a guy with whom you can communicate heart-to-heart. Beautiful!

Part 4: Keep Him Forever Interested & Passionate – IN YOU!

Let’s get straight to the heart of the matter. Here’s what you get in Part 4:

1 Getting Your Man To Commit
2 The Two Biggest Sex And Love Questions
3 What’s That Ringing in His Ears… Wedding Bells?
4 Never Quit Letting Him Woo and Win You!

Powerful stuff! But is it any good? Let’s find out…

1 Getting Your Man To Commit

I’ll say this for Claire Casey: no matter how accurate she is about men, she still continues to shock me with the depth of her insights. You know, I think that’s all I’m gonna say about this section. I am a man, after all.

2 The Two Biggest Sex And Love Questions

Question one is: should you have sex on the first date?
Question two is: should you be the first to say I love you?

Oh yes. The two biggies! All I’ll say is that when Clare answers these questions, she shows an insight into male psychology that makes me feel nervous! (And remember, I know something about being a man! I am one!).

She’s got male psychology exactly right. So when she tells you why saying “I love you” before your man says it to you is a really bad idea, take it from me, she’ bang on the nail.

3 What’s that ringing in his ears? Wedding bells?

Here she goes again! The 12 signs that a man is ready for marriage. OK, I’ll let you in on the secrets….

Number one: he’s had his fill of “sowing wild oats” or he’s too disciplined to do that.

You know what? I feel like Claire’s invaded my men’s sexuality workshops and discovered a few secrets that ought never to have been made public!

Because one of the things I know to be true about men is that they are genetically programmed to go through a phase of screwing around in their late teens and early 20s. (But, hey, you know, we all have choice in these things. It’s not compulsory.)

And what should then happen is that a man goes through a stage of emotional development which renders him ready to settle down with one woman; in other words, to put it bluntly, “he’s got it out of his system”.

Now if a guy never grows up, and he’s still tempted to screw every woman he sees … what do you think that means for his chances of staying faithful to you? Yup, you got it.

Ramp them up Claire! Another 11 secret insights into male psychology… but I’m not gonna tell you any more, so you’ll have to get it from your sister!

4 And The Great Big Final Factor: Never Quit Letting Him Woo and Win You

So even when you walk away with a great man, the story isn’t over. The idea is about dating even when you’re in a relationship! You use the tactics you’ve learned in Capture His Heart & Make Him Love You Forever.

Yes, the techniques, tricks, and strategies that keep you learn in this program can keep your man interested in you way past dating and on into your relationship, into commitment, possibly marriage, certainly into “happy ever after”.

Sure, and I know it takes 2 to tango, but men love to seduce women. Men love to chase women. Men love to be romantic and make wild gestures for women. But to stimulate them to do that, women have to do a certain little something as well. (You seductress, you!)

And then in addition to that, there’s all the regular advice: to keep your man committed, loving you forever, and his heart connected to your heart, wotcha gotta do?

Find out in Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever Right Now!

Wake Up, Gorgeous!

So let me explain what Claire Casey, author of capture his heart, means when she talks about “Wake-Up Gorgeous”.

First of all, she emphasizes that this isn’t about giving you anything you don’t already have. This is actually about giving a wake-up call to the inner beautiful and confident woman you already have hidden away inside you!

dreamstime_xs_8815883-paid-for

So how you access that beautiful gorgeous woman inside you, the one that can be a siren to men, the one who knows all about dating men, and doesn’t actually need relationship advice for women?

(Of course, if she follows her feminine instincts she might not need dating tips, but wise relationship advice never goes amiss. That’s where Capture His Heart and make him Love You Forever comes in.)

Fortunately, you have Claire Casey on hand to help!

There are eight “lessons” in this section (this is nothing like school, LOL!), but the great thing is that there’s not a lot for you to do, because most of the work is done whilst you’re asleep.

You go through the “lessons” and choose the ones that you most need to focus on right now: then Claire shows you a special process of implanting that lesson, that motto, that piece of dating advice, that information about what a beautiful woman you are, into your subconscious before you go to sleep. Now, how easy is that!

When you wake up, you’ll be primed and ready to be your gorgeous new man-magnet self.

A Man’s View On Capturing A Man’s Heart & Making Him Love You Eternally!

I understand you might have some questions about this. So let me tell you something, as a man.

The women I want to be with is the woman who makes me feel good. The woman who’s confident about her own beauty and her own attractiveness — and by that I mean her inner beauty, and her inner attractiveness, because that is what really shines out.

Relationships built on superficial attraction or pure physicality aren’t going to last. You know that as well as I do. Relationships have to be built on something deeper than looks.

Here’s a video on the subject.

 

And, having said that, when you project out an attractive personality you look beautiful. That’s what this section of Capture His Heart And Make Him Love You Forever is all about.

So let me give you a few examples of Claire’s advice in this section.

Tips on how you might “wake-up Gorgeous”: tips which come in 8 sections,  so YOU can choose what’s MOST IMPORTANT for you at any time… yes, 8 you get parts in this remarkable new dating advice for women.

Here’s a quote from Claire:

“A woman’s authentic confidence is like catnip for men. It sends them just a little bit happy-crazy. They can’t help themselves! They want to be near you because you make them feel relaxed and zippy at the same time. They’re drawn to you again and again for that fresh dose of energy and joy that comes from just being around you.!

So what’s the key to unlocking your confidence? How about working on that voice of inadequacy that runs a constant stream of negative comments in your head? How about a quick, effective and powerful way of dealing with that sneaky self-destructive inner voice? How about replacing it with a confident fresh voice that will show you up in an attractive positive light?

Sounds good doesn’t it?

Yes, all of the things that you need to actually stop that sneaky little self-destructive voice are revealed by Claire Casey in Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You For Ever.

Your dreams just came true….

The tactics you can use to do this range from amping up your own attributes, using a special mind-calming technique to silence your inner bitch (you know, the one who’s always criticising you), practising some sexy swaggering, and wearing gorgeous underwear.

May-all-your-dreams-come-true.

 

And there are dozens more: I’m not listing them all here, and particularly not the really hot ones, because to do that will just give away all the secrets that Claire can explain to you, as a woman, better than I can, as a man.

‘Course, what I can tell you is the effect these things have on men.

For generations women have known how to seduce, how to attract, and how to win men.

For me, much of this is just about turning on your inner siren, the woman who’s already inside, but who perhaps hasn’t had the chance to show herself for a while.

And when all’s said and done, it’s women who hold the power in dating and relationships. Just remember that, girl, and then use Claire Casey’s tips to turn yourself into a hot man magnet.

You’re not convinced yet that you’re actually a hot siren, waiting to be unleashed on the male population?

Good! Because author of Catch His Heart and Keep Him Eternally*, Claire Casey, has plenty more dating tips for you. She’s going to tell you, step-by-step, how to:

  • Treat yourself to sensual pleasures that make you feel good.
  • Turn yourself into a temple of sensuous pleasure.
  • Keep yourself healthy and feeling very sexy (she supplies 51 different ideas to choose from — yes, 51!).
  • Indulge yourself so that you feel good about yourself.
  • Attract and seduce a man using nothing but your eyes.
  • Use those naturally feminine body moves that pierce men straight through the heart (you get 19 ideas to choose from here).
  • How to look absolutely great every day, and that includes the parts of yourself you think are ugly or less attractive (check it out, because it’s absolutely true!).
  • Understand and interpret men’s body language, so you know what they’re thinking about you as you talk to them – even when you see them across the room.
  • How to hold a conversation with a man in a way that really keeps him interested – this is what Claire calls conversational gold. I call it clever seduction.
  • Use certain qualities like admiration, empathy, and encouragement to cement the sense of attraction that a man feels for you.
  • And, believe it or not, when you talk to a man whose heart you wish to catch and keep, Claire shows you how to actually name, and understand, his deepest needs, wishes and fears. This will blow him away – no woman will ever have understood him like you do.

I will let a little cat out of the bag here, and just once again reaffirm that Claire knows exactly what she’s talking about: she lists the six main forces that operate in most men (see below). Claire is 100% correct about this. Don’t forget, I’m a male psychotherapist and I know what I’m talking about.  This is what she says:

  • He loves an adventure, and the thrill of the chase
  • Deep down, he’s afraid of failure
  • He’s very much driven by hormones
  • He desperately wants to feel needed and admired as a man
  • Most of the time, he’s very task/goal oriented
  • He’s bad with expressing and understanding complex feelings.

Once you start to understand the forces that are driving men from the inside, you can make them feel like you, and you alone, out of all the women in the world, really understand them. He’ll be yours, seized** and held, forever!

Now imagine the power that YOU are going to acquire. Claire gives you an explanation of how to tap into each of these are fundamental male “drivers”. For each of them she gives you exact tactics and strategies you can use to catch a man – and the impact on a man, when you do this, from your heart, is something greater than you can even begin to imagine.

I’m telling you, plain and simple, if you’re looking for fantastic new dating advice, and information that will keep any relationship going, you absolutely must read this section. It will teach you more about men than a month chatting to your sisters. Seriously.

*”Catch” is better than “capture”, don’tcha think?

**Seize the day – better than holding him prisoner, too, methinks!

Seven Massive Mistakes To Avoid At All Costs

Well, I guess you want to know what these seven massive mistakes that you must avoid at all costs actually are!

I think I could sum that up by saying – “anything that diminishes your self-esteem in an attempt to make your man feel better”. This is a reminder to put yourself first, or at least equal first, with your man. Not to let him do anything to you makes you less a shining star than you already are. A reminder that you shouldn’t be doing more for him then an equal relationship partner would do.

I’m not going to give too much away, but what I will tell you is that this is all good advice. It’s delivered in a simple, direct way, and the powerful messages you’ll read here can actually be incredibly helpful in setting you on the straight and narrow in relationships.

Let me just give you one example of the advice you can find here: “We ladies are usually VERY quick with words, and we usually have a waterfall of them constantly running. It can be overwhelming to a guy, which makes your judicious use of silence particularly powerful.”
Yes, there is a lot of truth in that. More than you can even begin to imagine, perhaps.

The great beauty of Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever is that it’s full of short and to the point advice and information like this — as well as the incredibly helpful, step-by-step guides to dating and mating. Altogether, it’s an unbeatable package.

Capture His Heart Forever! An Honest Review!

A Great Decision If You’re Looking For Love!

Well, you’ve made the decision to invest in Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever. Now, you’re going to buy it. Great! What do you need to know? Let me tell you, if I may.

First of all, please remember the purchase of the main program in Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever, as well as the bonuses which I describe below, are all “zero-risk” to you.

That’s because there’s a no-questions-asked, 60 day money-back guarantee with your purchase of Capture His Heart. 

This guarantee is offered by Clickbank, the sales processor, not the publisher, a gentleman by the name of Michael Fiore. So literally all you have to do to get your money back is click a button.

Anyway, the next thing is the bonuses. When you buy Capture His Heart, you’ll be offered three bonuses to buy.

I’ve actually bought these bonuses to check out what they can do for you. And I’m going to tell you what’s in them, right here, on this website.

That way you can decide for yourself if you want to buy them. You won’t be seized by your heart’s desire for love and impulsively make a rash purchase before you’re well-informed.

This is basically dating advice for women and relationship tips for women. And I am well qualified, as a man, to comment on this.

You see, the thing is, I’m a trained psychotherapist and counsellor. I have years and years of experience helping men and women have better relationships and great sex.

So I’m not going to give you some phoney review claiming Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever is the best thing since sliced bread, to make you buy  it. I hate that kind of thing. I mean, you don’t want to be told what to do by a lying salesman, do you?

An Honest Review Of Capture His Heart And Make Him Love You Forever

Is such a thing possible? Yes, read on to find out why.

This way, you can decide for yourself whether or not you want to invest in Capture His Heart. As I say, the program is published by Michael Fiore, who runs the company Digital Romance Inc. Seizing the moment as co-author is Claire Casey, who wrote the program.

Here they are – publisher and author respectively of relationship advice about how to catch a man’s heart and make him adore you for ever….. Mike Fiore and Claire Casey. Ta daa….

mikefiore clairecasey

Author Claire Casey describes the way a man and woman can go out on a date, and the woman may feel she’s really found a man on the same wavelength, somebody exciting, a man who might possibly be the one who seizes her love and takes her heart captive … at long last. They have a great evening, exchange numbers …

And then, silence. He doesn’t phone, he doesn’t text, he doesn’t email.

This has happened to almost everybody. It’s incredibly disappointing. Women wonder: why does a man behave like this? Well, the answer lies in a very basic piece of male and female psychology.

You remember John Gray, author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus? He probably had it right all those years ago.

Because the truth is simple – men and women are different in some really important ways.

They have to be, otherwise there wouldn’t be the excitement, the chemistry, the polarity of masculine and feminine. But, boy, does this lead to some difficulties. Sometimes having a relationship can feel like being taken prisoner, or captured and being held captive!

Held Captive? 

What I’m talking about here is the way that men are excited by the prospect of “the chase”. For a man, something deep in his genes makes him want to romance a woman, pursue her, show her that he’s the one for her, seduce her, and basically “win her”.

It’s a bit like the way some male animals have to show the females of the species that they are the ones with whom the females should mate. Now that’s a competition among male animals. But there’s competition among men, too, especially when it comes to capturing a woman’s heart.

And unfortunately, we live in a world where even our deepest instincts aren’t expressed in the way that they would naturally be.

That’s why programs like Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever sell so well – they really do help people navigate the world of romance.

In days gone by, courtship was a genteel and slow process. A man captured a woman’s heart over months, if not years. He couldn’t just “seize her” because she’d play hard to get (maybe).

These days courtship is fast and furious (well, sometimes!) And so a woman has to know just exactly what she can do to keep a man interested enough to offer her his heartfelt love. That way she can capture his heart and his emotions and ensure he loves her forever….

And he needs to know how to capture her heart and make her love him, too. Take it from me, I speak as a man, and I know about these things.

Please note:  capturing his heart, or her heart, using stuff you learn on the internet, is not manipulation. It’s modern courtship!

I think “courtship” is a good word. If you don’t really know what it means, this might help – the first definition that popped up on Google when I did a search: courtship is a period during which a couple develop a romantic relationship, especially with a view to marriage.

I’d say these days you could replace the word “marriage” with “long-term relationship”, but one or the other is certainly what most women want. The key thing is men want it too, but quite a lot of them have to made to see that fact by falling in love with a woman, who must then know all about capturing his heart and keeping him forever!

I hope this is making sense. What it amounts to is this: if a woman concludes she’s found the right man, and starts behaving in a way that conveys this fact to the man too soon in the relationship, he’s either going to be scared off, or give up because he doesn’t feel the thrill of the chase any more.

This male-female “game” of romance is a delicate, enjoyable, fun, and often very necessary game played between two consenting adults. It’s what we’re genetically programmed to do…..as this video on Filipino courtship shows.

Read on to see what bonuses are available with Capture His Heart And Make Him Love You Forever !

Free & Paid For Bonuses

The Bonuses You Can Buy With Capture His Hheart

Read about the FREE bonuses you get when you buy this program by CLICKING HERE!

Capture His Heart Paid for Bonuses

The trouble is, if you don’t know the rules of the dating game you’re gonna lose out. And that is where Michael Fiore’s extra bonuses (the ones you can buy) with Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever come in.

After all, no man is ever going to tell you this stuff when he starts going out with you.

Great Dating Advice For Women

mikefioreMike Fiore (pictured) hits the spot with these bonuses.

The first paid-for bonus in “Capture His Heart & Make Him Love You Forever” is called The Second Date Guarantee.

This is a step-by-step guide to the things a woman can do before, during and after a first date to ensure that will make sure the man you are seeing has a powerful desire to chase you, seduce you, and see you again.

The key factors, according to Michael Fiore and his co-author Claire Casey (a real person by the way) are a selection of very feminine wiles – used by women through the ages to get what they want. Now summed up in a very neat way as relationship advice for women:

  • how to use mystery and curiosity before a date
  • what you must do on a first date to “bait the hook” for a man you like
  • whether or not to have sex on the first date
  • what to say at the end of the first date to plant the “second date seed” deep in his mind (so he starts to plan it on the way home)
  • a selection of text messages you can send to him that will give him a subconscious indication that you’re open for a second date without saying it outright (this calms his fears about being rejected, even if the first date has gone incredibly well)
  • and a run through of how a man actually sees a first date, what’s going through his mind: the real and honest truth about what the man wants, all that he feels about you, and what he wants for the future.

You know what? When I read this, even though I’m a man and I’ve done my fair share of dating, I just had to buy the bonus to find out what (if anything) I didn’t know about myself! This kind of relationship advice for women needs to be good. It needs to work. I mean, why waste time dating? Why not get it right first time?

More Great Dating Advice For Women

clairecaseyAnd as part of this paid for bonus with Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever, Claire Casey (pictured right) and Michael Fiore also offer you “The Second Date Texting Arsenal”.

This is a guide to the most powerful texts you can send a man to throw him off balance and create a feeling of powerful attraction and maybe even love.

He claims these two bonuses have a value of $291 and is offering them to you for just $27, backed by a 60 day money back guarantee. No questions asked.

 

You can read more about them here.

If you move on to a new relationship, Michael Fiore has yet another bonus for you that you might care to invest in. It’s called NEVER FIGHT AGAIN.

This piece of dating advice for women (and men!) is something I know all about….

A diversion, great advice about men and women in relationship.

Love Is Not Enough

I know that’s not very romantic — it might even sound a bit cynical — but it’s a simple fact. To have a truly “Life‑Long Love Affair” where he never cheats, never looks around, adores you, celebrates you, and brags about you to his friends takes more than just love.

You need something to stop those arguments, fights, and disagreements happening.  Hence this bonus – NEVER FIGHT AGAIN.

The claim is that this bonus will show you what you really have to do to make love grow, flourish, and transform into true fulfillment — something that will touch and elevate every aspect of your life (instead of choking it, beating it up, and constantly crushing it with broken promises or bad expectations).

In my opinion, if they really have got this dating advice for women and relationship advice for women off pat, then they’ve achieved a hell of a deal!

The claim is this program will let you Catch Him And Keep Him in harmony and peace. Here’s what the authors say:

It will give you everything you need to make sure you never “mess it up” with Mr. Right… so you can grow old together, laugh together, love together, and be the envy of all your friends. Never Fight Again has been a true passion project for me… the most powerful and potent material I’ve created, and the one thing I truly hope to be remembered for when I’m long dead and gone.

So this bonus is all about having a harmonious and long-term relationship. Now, I’m a trained psychotherapist, and over the years I’ve done a lot of work with men and women giving advice and information about how they can establish and maintain a good relationship.

A relationship where open and honest communication, spoken and read from the heart, leads to greater and greater intimacy every day.

That’s the key factor here for me. Greater intimacy. If this bonus, called Never Fight Again, has any value whatsoever, then for me it must match up with the psychological principles that really help establish a great relationship.

So once again, I bought this bonus and I will tell you exactly what’s in it and whether I believe it works or not. Meanwhile, before I get on to that I’m going to summarize for you what’s inside Never Fight Again.

They are:

1 ) What love really means to a man, and why it may well be completely different what a woman wants. Fiore provides techniques that a woman can use to inspire a guy to offer the kind of love and adoration that a woman requires.

2) Why it’s a trap to think that you can make a man happy. He gives women the relationship advice and information and dating tips and advice you need to ensure your relationship works really well form day 1.

3) Why fights are never about what they really appear to be about.

4) How you can keep disagreements from turning into massive disputes, complete with yelling and screaming. 

5) What you really need – beyond love – to have a “forever” relationship.

6) How to stop those annoying little things a man does irritating you beyond reason. Great advice and counsel here!

7) How to talk to a man openly and honestly about even the most brutal frightening topics, knowing that no matter what you say, he’ll stick by you.

Here’s what Michael Fiore says about this: I guarantee that when you read “Never Fight Again”, you’ll be frightened, shocked, relieved and elated. You’ll feel like you’ve finally got the magic power to get off the relationship roller coaster you’ve been on for too long… To finally have a man who truly loves and respects you… To be finally free of all the fear and anger and stress… The magic power to… well, to never fight again. 

Now this sounds good – of course. But is this bonus with Capture His Heart And Make Him Love You Forever any good? Is it great dating advice for women? Do the relationship tips mean anything at all?

I’ll tell you in my open and honest review of the bonuses (see a link to them at the top of this page) if this bonus is good, great or cr*p.

I’ll tell you, based on the psychotherapy training I have – that was four years and thousands of dollars to acquire – whether or nor what Fiore claims is true. If it is true, then the $67 price tag is small price to pay for a lifetime of love and harmony.

Continue reading about the bonuses here.

More About The Bonuses You Can Buy

whole-prorgam-mediumRead about the FREE bonuses you get when you buy this program by CLICKING HERE!

And even more bonuses are available for you for a small investment! Starting with…..

Get a Masters Degree in Men!

Here’s what Mike Fiore has to say about it:

In Claire Casey’s “Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever”, you’re going to learn the simple secrets to finding, attracting and keeping that one special guy in your life forever …But I want to give you the chance to learn how to actually read a man’s mind … to know EXACTLY what he wants better than he does … to know EXACTLY how he feels about you and how much he loves you without ever having to ask and to understand his mind, his heart and his body on a such a deep, primal level that he’ll actually fight to keep you (and only you) in his life forever, would rather cut off his own balls than even THINK of cheating on you and will never even look at another woman again.

What seems to have prompted Mike Fiore to add in this bonus is the fact that every day, in his large Internet consultancy, where he offers good-quality relationship advice, he gets lots of emails from women asking how they can get men to open up and tell them the truth about what they want, feel, and need.

As we all know, men and women alike, the truth is most men don’t respond well to questioning in this area. In fact, containing his heart’s truth can sometimes look like a man’s most important mission.  Catching a man doesn’t mean he’ll open up to you!

And of course, helping him open up, so you’re really communicating, is a major part of this program.

Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever (Really!)

A couple enjoying a beautiful sunsetGenerally, men don’t want to talk about how they feel, or what they need.

And as you may well know, a man may even lie to a woman to avoid revealing what’s in his heart.

He’ll certainly avoid the issue if you start pressing him on it.

The irony is, a man will do this no matter how much he loves you. 

Certainly men talk to each other differently to women. And men take those differences into conversations with women.

Now, with all the men-only support and therapy groups I’ve run, I know exactly when, how and why men open up and talk about their feelings. Knowing this may be the best piece of relationship advice for women you ever read.

And in some ways, you’d be surprised about how easy it is to get a man to reveal what’s going on in his heart and mind, if you just know how to set the situation up.

That’s a much better way to make a man feel he wants his heart to be captured by you…. and much more likely to make him want to come on a second date with you. Take my advice. I know what I’m talking about….

Anyhow, in that vein, Mike Fiore claims that this bonus will reveal things you need to know about how men operate, so you can work with them in a way they’ll love you for. Here’s what he says is on offer in this section of relationship advice:

  • what men really find attractive in women
  • how you can tell if a man is lying (and the techniques a man can use to defeat a woman’s intuition)
  • why guys rush into new relationship soon after a breakup
  • what guys think of women who have sex with them on the first, second or third date, and exactly how your first sexual encounter shapes a man’s opinion of you
  • how you can keep a man interested beyond the first date (information which Mike Fiore says will “make you burn every copy of Cosmopolitan“: frankly, in my opinion, you should do that anyway if you’re relying on Cosmo for dating and relationship advice  for women. If you do what this rag mag advises around men , you’re 100% certain to crash and burn when dating men)
  • what guys look for in a woman’s Facebook page or dating profile (and here Mike Fiore’s claiming you can set up an amazing profile that will attract great guys like a magnet – and I tend to agree with him that this will help you capture his heart and make him love you forever)
  • why men look at other women, and what it means when they do it
  • why men look at porn online, and what it really means
  • how to tell if a man genuinely loves you
  • how you can find out exactly what’s going on in his head and his heart without him saying a word
  • why men cheat on women
  • the sexual fantasies men would like you to join in but will never reveal without you first offering him the sexual thrill he needs
  • why trying to make a man happy will kill your relationship
  • how to make sure that a man never lies to you.

This is powerful stuff.

Capture His Heart Bonuses Continued

And along with all of this relationship advice for women and dating advice for women you get, courtesy of Mike Fiore and Claire Casey, 4 exciting CDs and PDF documents, telling you all about:

1) The Human Lie Detector –– a special interview with an expert on human behaviour which explains how you can read a man’s body language and instantly know if he’s lying.

This part of the Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever program also contains some really deep relationship advice and information on gender roles in modern society, and why it’s necessary for men and women to behave in certain masculine and feminine ways to keep a relationship strong. (Think back to the so-called “new men” of the 1990s – you’ll quickly see that masculinity and femininity really do matter.)

2) Interview with a Cheater — this CD is billed as a no-holds-barred interview with a man who admits cheating, giving you a candid look into his mind and motivation.

 Mike Fiore claims that you can find out exactly what goes through man’s mind when it comes to cheating, and so make yourself into a woman that no man will ever cheat on.

Here’s a video on the subject of cheating:

3) Unstoppable Confidence — men like a confident woman. Fact! Did you think men like feminine vulnerability?

Well, it might be attractive for a man to protect a woman he sees as vulnerable at first, but the thrill of that soon evaporates.

In fact, female neediness becomes annoying to most men quite quickly.

However, you can exploit your feminine vulnerability in such a way that you really activate a man’s desire to give you all you need in the way of strong, loyal, courageous masculinity in your relationship. This may be one of the best pieces of female relationship advice you ever received.

4) The Insecurity Cure — Capture His Heart may offer you dating tips and advice which transform those first dates  into a long term relationship, or it may not.

Hopefully it will. But if the relationship isn’t going to prosper, you need to be clear and decisive about what to do.

This section of Mike Fiore’s relationship advice for women in Capture His Heart will, so he says, banish your anxiety and kick insecurity out of your life for ever. That means you will never feel abused and no-one will ever take advantage of you again.

This CD even tells you when breaking up is the best thing to do!

5) Sex Lies Exposed. This part of Capture His Heart is a PDF document which examines seven common beliefs that can “murder” your relationships with men. Have you heard about this?

Because the claim is that this part of capturing his heart explains the lies you’ve been told about masculine sexuality.

You will, says Mr Fiore, be amazed at how deep these misconceptions go. I’ll tell you if that’s true in another page of this website.

I’m glad I bought these bonuses, because I can explain to you what’s in them.

Even though there’s a 60 day money back guarantee, no questions asked, these bonuses still cost $97 and you might think that’s a lot of money to splash out without having a genuinely honest opinion as to whether or not you’re doing the right thing in buying relationship advice and dating advice for women off the internet. I hope I can straighten that out for you.

So I’m pleased I found this program and I’m explaining it to you here, because without me and my therapy training, which covered relationships, sexual issues, emotional issues, and how men and women can really have a great relationship, you’d just be buying the Capture His Heart bonuses blind, and maybe not in fact making him love you forever!

Instead, now you know what’s in these bonuses before you try to seize a man’s heart and Mr Fiore seizes your money!

You can decide if Mike Fiore is giving you information that would be helpful to you… whether he offers genuine, tried and tested principles of dating advice and relationship building.

freebonus

See the link at the top of this page for more on the free bonuses included with Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever!